Ginger Bread Men

I think there should be a new law stating all ginger bread men should be labelled on a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is soft and 10 is hard. This is a direct result of the incredibly disappointing man I bought today.

I know one of the bakery's round here does very nice ginger people, soft enough that they don't even stand up straight, but not quite loose enough to break without some force. I think I'd rate them at about 3. Clearly however, whichever that fantastic bakery is it was not the place I went in today. I chomped down on their product instantly fracturing three teeth, without even making a dent on the baked man's head. If my system of number ratings had been involved I could have seen the 10 warning and saved myself from this steel like monstrosity. I eventually cut into the thing using a diamond saw and a team of eight assistants. I've also submitted a piece of it to the patent board as a new idea for bullet proof clothing. I also tried actually eating some. It was like eating nails. I could of died.

And this is why we need a system people. Health and safety is at risk; If a ginger bread sized hole were to appear in a train track right before a train was to pass you would expect anyone to leap into action, plugging the hole with a ginger bread man from the nearest shop. But whilst a 10 man would hold and carry all passengers to sweet smelling safely, a 3 rated man would be disastrous. Without the rating system you wouldn't know which is which, and placing the wrong type on the track would result in a catastrophic accident and the waste of a perfectly made ginger bread man. And does anyone really want that?