How to make a very dry pizza.

1. Get some dough. This should be mushy and smell strange and be covered by a bubble of clingfilm.
2. Pop the clingfilm and then find a surface. This surface must be clean so if necessary clean it. It should also be large enough to make a triangular circle on.
   
3. Now get loads of flour and sprinkle liberally all over the surface. It makes you wonder why we cleaned it doesn't it?
4. Take dough and squish badly. Sprinkle more flour everywhere. Then do more squishing. This is called needing. Well it would be if that's what you were doing. Its what you're trying to do. But what you actually do is called squishing. Sprinkle some flour to see if that'll help.
   
5. Then add more flour, this time to some wood. Using the wood squish the dough to a sort of triangleish circle shape. Don't worry to much about the shape at this time. You'll deform it picking it up anyway.
6. Peal a cheese. Then leave it to dry.
   
7. Pick the doughy circley trinagley mess up. Done well this should deform and stick to the surface. Should have used more flour shouldn't you?
8. Place the doughy thing onto a metal thing which should be a bad fit.
9. add tomato stuff slopping it down so it goes everywhere. Spread the tomato gunk around the dough with a spoon, reclaiming the spread about bits if there's no longer enough. (You are permitted to leave the bits that are on your eyebrows if you wish.)
10. Add the pealed cheese. Again slopping the ingredient down randomly works well. Give yourself bonus points if a cheese slice lands on the tomato on your eyebrows.
11. Try to fold the dough over on itself. This should cause tomato to try to escape and be difficult unless you actually levelled the dough evenly in the bit when we shaped it.
12. Place thing in oven. Leave to cook for an amount of time.
13. Take out and eat. Complain about high levels of dryness. Lots. Because it will be really dry. No-one knows why it'll be dry. Perhaps you'll die.

Have fun.